I recently decided that I would like to do videos, as those of you who follow my blogs know that I post only once every few months... due to chronic illness I find typing extremely fatiguing... but I still have tonnes to say about all the deathy, mystical healing arts, and creating space for authentic stories to be told... so videos seem to be a perfect medium for my imperfect body. ;)
And low and behold in one of the business groups I belong to we have peer expert appear on the scenes to help us make little website videos through our iPhones... FAB!!! I am primed, ready, and excited to learn how to light and frame a headshot video!!!
Then there was a little online blurb telling us to bring certain items of clothing and makeup, none of which I have. She started with makeup, hair and wardrobe tricks to help us look our best on camera. She told us that people generally only buy the services of people who look like them or how they wished they looked, so it is important to look our best.
I giggle and blurt out... 'I guess I am fucked then.'
Oh why is that dear?
'Cause there is no way I am wearing makeup or changing my clothing.'
I was informed that the trick to wearing makeup that was to make it look like I wasn't wearing any.
One woman piped up that I could find a friend and borrow something nice to wear.
And I restated that I would not be wearing makeup, nor changing my clothing choices to make an unrealistic representation of my core being especially when it comes to my business.*
The expert frowned and said people look weird without makeup... I told her I was oki with looking weird as I am weird, used to my scars, and thrilled that my body is healing. Another frown and I am told 'well maybe if you drink lots of water so you are hydrated and well rested we can do something with the light to help with the skin stuff and wrinkles'.
I understand that the person running this event is a cis-gender white woman... and when we are talking traditional ways of making videos we are eyeballs deep in patriarchy thinking and process... While I do consider myself in the woman camp... one look at me and you can tell I am queer and pretty far from cis.
So while I feel I have zero obligation to put on makeup to have my voice heard... the current reigning system says differently... so who am I to judge the peer expert best and most helpful advice... it is based on succeeding in this fucked up system of patriarchal thinking and building an entrepreneurship.
I write these words not to shame or blame the folks involved... I say all this to draw attention to how we attach value of opinion and experience to appearances and to create a larger dialogue about how we can bring our whole authentic being into the world to tell our own stories in our own ways.
However to get real honest on a personal level... the whole conversation felt like this...
*I mean... come on... my business tagline is "AUTHENTIC LIVING. AUTHENTIC DYING. AUTHENTIC CONVERSATIONS." If I suddenly started wearing makeup or wigs and weird clothing shit to make videos then my whole business ideology goes out the fucking window.
Peace out kitties <3