Badassing through Chronic Illness

MedicineBuddha Cat Defeats the Evil Staph Queen 

MedicineBuddha Cat Defeats the Evil Staph Queen 

I was talking to an old friend about how I deal with my chronic illness... I told him that I cannot look at the day to day or even month to month for signs of healing. I need to look back to my worst point and measure my healing progress from there.

From being bed ridden with mould in my lungs at 30% on the palliative performance chart, and actually healing from that, only to get hit with a full body skin staph infection, to now a few years later being able to do all my own household chores and errands... Its a big deal! Even the first time I was able to shower standing up without help was a huge fucking win!
I am totally Badass!!!

So here's what I have learned:
Healing goes in cycles and waves... Learn to celebrate the every day victories... Keep creating healing art cause it does help... Scars are just the marks left behind by our body loving us enough to heal & pssst we ALL have them...  And every once in awhile please remember to step back and look at the bigger picture to see just how badass you truly are! <3

Love = Grief = Love

Love = Grief = Love

To love something, is to grieve when it is gone.

Just because someone died, it does not mean that we can suddenly stop the flow of love to that person, nor do I feel it is healthy to do so.

However the place that the love goes becomes intangible. Your love is there but there is also the ‘space’ where the loved one was. We no longer get the feedback that we did… there are no hugs/ smiles/ tenderness to show that the loved one, loves back. We are sending out a call of love and it is not being echoed back, at least not in the old familiar ways. 

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Psychopomp Prayer : Healing in the Space Between

I am (__given name or spirit name__), a psychopomp and crossroads guardian, I call upon (__personal guides / spirit helpers__) to provide a safe space for my workings.
I pray for there to be safe passage to the next life provided for all innocent souls who have died in pain or fear. May their soul’s light be found, by defying the darkness of their stories. May their light spread and heal others.
I am greatfull to witness and experience this powerfull moment in time, being called into service to heal the spaces between. In helping to heal another’s story, we heal our own. I am greatfull to my Spirit Guides for providing safe space for journeying and for bringing light to the dark places.

Prayers for peace to be in the space between the things that are.
~Cat AKA Hecate's Daughter

Declarations of Hecate's Daughter

Declarations of Hecate's Daughter

Declarations of Hecate's Daughter (Transcript)
Red and Black
Flame and Shadow
The sacred colours of Birth and Death
Blood, Mud and Rot
Heartbeats and Green Leaves
Oh Great Mother Goddess! 
I want to be transformed.
I want to be reborn.

'May I come into your sacred cavern and be healed?' (... continues)

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Today I am 9 years old ~ Josi Case

Today I am 9 years old ~ Josi Case

Today, I’m 9 years old.

I write this letter to myself every year on the anniversary of my suicide attempt. The point of the letter is for me to take the time to reflect upon the past year and, once again, celebrate a failure.

I know that celebrating failure is uncommon. But, of all the successes I can count, I have learned the most from my ineffective attempt to kill myself.

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Empathy and Suicidal Thoughts

Empathy and Suicidal Thoughts

As psychopomp and an empath, I frequently process/ feel/ experience emotions that are not mine.

In high school it was overwhelming. I was just coming into all this new energetic awareness and feeling quite crazy because at that time I still had no context for my psychopomp experiences. High school was a gold mine for ALL.THE.FEELINGS. Plus who honestly doesn’t feel like they are a giant freak and totally alone in that mob of teenage angst and hormone stuff.

In my particular case add in a mom in the psychiatric ward (who blamed me for her mental illness and the outcome of her life choices), and alcoholic raging father (who was either absent or totally inappropriate and abusive in his interactions with me). Add in an unusual spiritual calling that would not stop banging around in my head… the loneliness at times was almost suffocating, like drowning in a sea of people.

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